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Arousal is a funny thing. It’s an involuntary response, one we have little to no control over, that also carries enormous social and psychological weight. Since the era of Freud, we’ve been told that the things that turn us on have deep significance when it comes to unraveling who, exactly, we are – which makes it that much more troubling when the things that turn us on run completely counter to who we want to be when we’re fully clothed and away from the bedroom.

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The more we try to deny our erotic urges, the more they take over our experience – while paradoxically, accepting those parts of ourselves as harmless, if occasionally upsetting, fantasy, allows them to fade into our unconscious and helps integrate them into our daily lives.